el crispito

Plan on having a big group of people over for dinner - that way you may get one or two to come!! Then you can freeze what you made and have left over, thus having a meal ready when you invite someone and they actually do show up!

That's exactly what Larry suggested, but then you always have to have a dinner party. We have space really for only five, and that's kind of a funky number. Since there are two of us, then we'd be inviting two people, and then you're starting to get into questionable territory.

I will now take to the streets to join the mob chanting, "Death to Mexico! Death to the Great Satan dinner spoilers!"

Seriously, that does really, really (really) suck and is stupid.

Well, given the statistical probability of anybody actually showing up, you can probably invite a dozen people at a time to get 2-3 guests.

how about, when you invite them over for a future dinner, you invite them over RIGHT THEN. Lock them in a room until the dinner. Then they might join you on time.

Or, invite them and borrow their wallets at the same time. Let them know that the gringo-way of invitation is to take all forms of ID and return them over a fine dessert after the meal.

(Reiner Wolfcastle Voice) "Give the guy lessons ... IN PAIN."

The time you invite a whole mob of people over for a "dinner party" will be the time they all show up. hahaha! :(



Seriously, that sucks. It's considered polite to lie? I know I've ducked out of some engagements I wilted in agreement to attend, but I always feel like, "if you can't pick up on my obvious signals of discomfort at your invite (or my lack of overt enthusiasm), you probably won't notice I didn't show up."



Do these invitees hedge at all when they agree to show? :|

One time I had a Thanksgiving dinner and invited Americans, Canadians and Mexicans. The Americans and Canadians were on time for my 6 p.m. dinner. The Mexicans showed up from 7 to midnight! I reheated the dinner 5 times. The Mexicans also wanted to drink for a while before dinner, the Ams and Cans were ready to eat after one drink. It's a difference in culture. If you live in Mexico, get used to it. I vowed the next time I had a special sit-down dinner I'd either invite all Mexicans and have a buffet and cold cuts, or have Ams and Cans with hot, specially prepared food. When I'm invited over to a Mexican's home for dinner, they usually set the time at 6 or 7, but often don't serve dinner until 10-midnight. Knowing this, I always eat something first so I can hold out. If I can't last until dinner, I politely explain that I have to work tomorrow, thank them and leave. I am always invited back, and sometimes, they have adjusted their dinner schedule to accommodate me. Nice people, different culture and beliefs.

Susan:
That's the best thing you could ever do. I don't know why we mexicans are never on time, I guess you're right and it's part of our culture.I admit it's crappy not to be in time, sometimes I guess we just can't help it.

Greetings from Guadalajara!

"I guess we just can't help it."

Learned helplessness from nearly three-quarters of a century under the perfect dictatorship. It is hard not to dismiss this as a complete cop-out and a cowardly denial of any personal responsibility for ones being a jerk, frankly. However, having now had experience with so many Mexicans, it just doesn't jive with their otherwise overwhelming politeness. There has to be some explanation for it.

"It's a difference in culture."

Okay, I'll grant you that, but why? There is some reason why they think one way and act another. Mexicans do not consider it to be polite or even tolerable to behave in such a way, as Lord Pocho (tee hee!) admits. So why are they so selfish in this regard? Like Susan says, they're nice people. I agree completely! They're VERY nice people.

I think a lot of the 'problem' here (and I admit, it's MY problem - I'm the one sitting around with all the leftover food that I paid for and spent hours cooking) is that Mexicans are much more live-and-let-live than us white folks. That's really impressive and nice to a certain degree. I find that, at least in Guadalajara, people are much more tolerant of gay people than in the United States, to the point that even using the word 'tolerant' seems inapproprate. The word 'tolerance' implies that they 'tolerate' something that upsets them.

It seems that at worst, folks are curiously amused by gays here. It should be noted that a lot of gay Mexicans have the opinion that you can't really be openly gay in Mexico. While I recognize that we didn't grow up here and we are kind of stand-out freaks for being gringos in the first place, Shawn and I don't hide anything and if asked, we tell people what's up. We have yet to have any experiences that make us feel like we're ever in danger here - not like the death threats we received in the United States, or the scapegoating carried out by our own government against us.

Perhaps then you can understand that people are really a lot more laid back and don't demonize others here for things they do. That aspect of this is nice. What's not nice is that this phenomenon extends to not holding people responsible for the crap they do that has a negative impact on others. I concede that these can be tricky questions; to what extent are people responsible in various cases and how negative is the impact? Still, often times there is no gray area. There are times when everyone would say that Person A gave Person B the shaft, and still, Person B won't complain about it, Person A won't apologize for it, and in the end, both will have a laugh together over their beer about how crazy it is that Mexicans tolerate such behavior from each other. "¡Ajajajaaaaaa!"

This is where it gets maddening. For us white people, we can deal with having to be a little flexible, like when people are late by an hour or so, or people call and cancel at the last minute. But to have people say they'll come for dinner, then neither show up nor call to cancel, nor call to apologize after the fact for never showing up, that's absolutely attrocious.

And I'd like to remind you, dear readers, that many of the posts here defending Mexicans (or pleading "we just can't help it") are about being late. In our case, these people never showed up. They never called later, and in fact, we've not heard from them since.

I think I just need to learn to do whatever the hell I want to do and then just answer to any criticism with, "Ah, that's just the way I am. I can't help it!" It seems like a valid defense in Mexico, and it might provide me with an outlet for my anger over people blowing me off.

"I lit your house on fire? Why of course I did! I love fire. I just couldn't help it!"

"I slashed your tires, right! I don't know what I was thinking! I guess I wasn't thinking! I'm so crazy!"